How to overcome internal blockages.

I love dancing since I was little. Lots of fun performing at my family parties as Alex Owens in Flashdance. I didn´t have Nicky Hurley. However, I have my mom who always has faith in me. You know moms, right? Seeing my enthusiasm, she decided to enroll me in ballet classes, bought me a collant, and ballet shoes. Good to go!  

The first day was awful, facing those skinny and well-coordinated girls. Far from having the dancer body type, I felt I didn´t belong there. Second class, it hadn´t changed a thing. The third one got even worst.

Two or three weeks passed by, and the feeling of inadequacy was only increasing. One day, I cried and told my mom I didn’t want to go back to that hell again. Gave up on ballet before it gave up on me.

My inner child resist

After thirty years, encouraged by my friend Carolina Fragnan, I decided to give myself a second chance. At my first class, that clumsy girl suddenly showed up. Setting on the floor, stretching myself, she looked at me through the mirror and shoot me:

– What hell are you doing? Stand up and stop being pathetic! – my inner child attacked me.  

– Look at you! You are not a ballerina material – she was on fire. I kept myself in silence, just listening. After all, her arguments made sense.   

“Right there, the inadequacy emerged with total intensity, feeling to leave the class running and crying again.”

Right there, the inadequacy emerged with total intensity, feeling to leave the class running and crying again. In a flash, I remembered myself, I was a grown-up now. I must behave like one. Becoming aware, I took my wounded child with all my affection and said:

– Hey, little one! I know how you are feeling. I understand the fact you are worried trying to protect us from another hurting – I told myself tenderly.  

– Listen to me. I´m not willing to become a professional ballerina, neither to be the new Ana Botafogo. – she listened attentively and in silence.  

– And do you know what? I´m looking for some fun here. I would appreciate it if could do the same. Just relax and enjoy the experience. Anyway, if you can not do it. I´m inviting you to leave the room immediately – I said to myself.

Even though she was resisting a little, my inner child decided to join us. Tomorrow we have ballet classes again. She is very excited and even bought a new pair of ballet shoes.

Why do we resist so badly?

Steven Pressfield, the author of the book The War of Art claims that there are two lives: the one we live and the unlived one- between the two is resistance. He says this is the main and most toxic source of unhappiness. Pressfield explains that fear, illness, and addictions are the most common forms of it to present itself.

However, if something is sacred to you, resistance will attack it with all the strength. If it’s ordinary, it doesn’t matter. It will not even bother to disturb you. Steven emphasizes that resistance does not usually enter the arena to hurt. It has a killing desire, to destroy it. And don’t you think that just because you won today, writing, painting, rehearsing or training, she will leave you alone. Tomorrow the enemy will emerge as perfectionism or any other way that would be more efficient for the moment.

The author explains that to win this battle you gotta be humble to recognize the power and persistence of this opponent, discipline to keep the dream alive, and territory for daily practice. Initially, the amount is not that important. Anyway, constancy is essential.

Defeat resistance:

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The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles 

Share in the comments: what old dream you are committed to making come true?